I never grew up thinking I would be a runner. I wasn’t bad at it. In fact, I was actually pretty good at it, when it was required of me. I always thought it was neat to see people run races, and I was in awe of people who could just go out and run 5+ miles for the fun of it. I never thought I’d have the time, or ability, to be that person, yet here I am.
A little over a year ago is when my running journey began. I was not in a good place mentally. I was borderline depressed, and was about to seek professional help. I had no reason to be depressed, and I really don’t know what caused it, but I would find myself sitting in the bath just crying, and truly not really caring what happened next. I needed a healthy way to keep going for my husband, for my kids, for the rest of my friends and family, but mainly for myself. One night, Jake asked me what was wrong. I told him I really didn’t know. I was scared, I was so sad and empty inside, and that I just felt like I needed to run. His response was what saved me. “Then why don’t you?”
Until that moment I had never really thought about running as a way to relieve my stress and sadness. I saw it as more of a form of exercise that I didn’t really have time for. After talking a little more about it, we invested in a treadmill. The first time I ran on it, I knew it would help TREMENDOUSLY. I finally had a way to clear my mind and put all of my sad and negative energy into something healthy and helpful. I knew that I needed to start setting goals for myself, and setting aside a few minutes a day, so I would keep running. I didn’t want to quit and then find myself back in the dark place I had been in.
All of this started to take place around the end of December. Guess what happened around New Year’s? I got COVID…..I did not let this get me down. Instead of running, I walked. Also during this time, I signed up for my first 5k. It was the Zoo Run Run at the Nashville Zoo on February 26th. I knew this would give me plenty of time to start training. I set my first goal: run the entire 5k within 30 minutes without having to stop and walk. This also helped me build it into my already busy schedule. Anyone can find 30 minutes in the day if you are devoted and you really try.
Luckily, I recovered from COVID rather quickly and was able to resume my training. I did tweak my knee while training, but contributed this to being 30 and not being in as good shape as I had been before (remember this, it will come into play in a second). February 26th came and I was both excited and incredibly nervous. The weather was not ideal. It was chilly and rainy and I began to wonder why I was doing this for fun!
The race began, and I was PUMPED! I felt good about my goal and was so excited to cross the finish line. What I thought was about a mile into the race, was when I started struggling! I was cold, it was hard to breathe, and my nose was pouring like a fountain! I checked my watch to see how long I had really been running….. .5 mile! 😳 I still had over 2.5 miles to run and now, I was really starting to second guess myself! I pushed on, and after the first mile or so I started to feel better. My pace was still strong and I knew that I would at least finish the race, even if I didn’t quite meet my goals.
Flash forward to the end of the race. I was ELATED! I almost started crying as I crossed the finish line because this race was so much more than a race for me. It was me overcoming depression and believing in myself again. I was able to run the entire race, and my official time was 30:07 (I stopped to pick up some money for a lady in front of me, so that totally took 7 seconds 😉)! Not only had I finished the race, I had met my goals! For the first time in a long time, I was so proud of myself! I was already ready for the next race, but that’s when the pain got worse.
Remember when I said that I had tweaked my knee??? Well, after I finished the race, it really really started to hurt, despite wearing my knee brace and having taken an Aleve before the race. I had been in denial, but I knew at this point I had really messed it up. Long story short, I ended up having a stress fracture on my tibia. I was out of training for 3 months. I knew I would lose all the training I had worked on, and would have to start over. During this time, I researched more about running, and looked up another race I thought I could complete after I was healed. The important thing: I didn’t quit!
I finally got cleared and started training for another 5k that would take place in May. Luckily I hadn’t lost as much as I thought I would. I ended up finishing that race in just over 27 minutes and even placed 3rd in my age group!
This sparked a whole new fire in me, and my love for running and competing against myself took off. I have since competed in several races, including my first 10k, trail run, and half marathon (I can’t wait to tell you about my first half)!
I set small goals to help me reach my big goals, and continue to sign up for races. Something about hitting the pavement and running clears my mind and heals me. I have also found that it is a great time to pray, listen to gospel music, and talk to God. It really gives me a chance to listen for His voice and guidance.
I now run for 1-2 hours at a time on my long runs. I have to plan for them, and could not do it without my family’s support and my determination. I am currently training for my first full marathon, as well as the Dopey Challenge at Disney World. I am 100% positive that running, and fervent prayer for peace saved me.
I pray that if you are reading this, and you are struggling with anything, that you are able to find something that brings you peace. Start by praying, it’s the most important thing, but then listen to your heart. It and God will guide you!
Isaiah 40:31- But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Marathon Mama 