Do you ever feel like you’re the worst mom in the world? Yea, that’s how I feel half of the time!

I try really hard to not be selfish, but it’s hard. I like to sleep in my own bed, and for my kids to sleep in their own beds. I like to have weekend getaways with just my husband. I like to have my own food from my own plate. I like to have the last bite of my favorite candy, and sometimes, I want to watch what I want to watch on tv. That sounds awful, I know. I told you. I’m not a good mom.

Now before I make myself sound like the worst human ever….I love to cuddle with my kids. I love taking my kids to experience new things. I love to see them try new foods and light up when it’s something they like (even though I hate trying new foods). I like hearing them say, “See mom, I’m just like you. I got [insert whatever candy] too!” And luckily, I’m a huge Disney fan, so watching Disney movies is not bad at all! I do the best that I can, just like all the other mamas out there, afterall, I am human.

I’ve only been a mama for 7 years, and boy has it gone by fast! As moms we are given SO MUCH ADVICE! Co-sleep, don’t co-sleep. Make sure you don’t give them peanut butter until they are at least one, give them peanut butter as early as possible. Don’t let them cry too long, make them cry it out and self soothe…..the list goes on and on. What is best? If you’re like me, you have a hard time figuring that out, and unfortunately, all too often….I learn from my mistakes. It’s a trial and error process and our kids get stuck in the middle.

In the past 7 years, well really my whole life, I have been a people pleaser. I want to do well and I want to be told that I’m doing a good job. As moms, we don’t always get that. In fact, sometimes we get the opposite. We hear, “Oh I would have done it this way,” or “Actually you’re not supposed to do that.” You know what I have to say about that? “That’s great, but I’m not you!” Ok for real, I wouldn’t say that as I HATE, and fear, confrontation, but it’s sometimes what I think. What I say instead is, “That’s a great idea! Thanks!” I’ve learned, the hard way, that we have to do what is best for us, and what feels right for us.

My husband and I hold our kids to high expectations. We expect them to be respectful to us and others. We expect them to listen. We try our best to teach them right from wrong and do spank them from time to time. That works for us, but to some, I’m not a good mom. We let them sleep with us occasionally, but also expect them to stay in their own beds most school nights. We take them on vacations and to experience new things, but we also make time and getaways for just the two of us. That works for us, but to some, I’m not a good mom. At the end of the day, we do what is best for us!

My kids are loved beyond measure. My village is one of the most exceptional villages I could have asked for! My village supports mine and my husband’s parenting, and loves our kids almost as much as we do. They want to spend time with the kids so we can go out and make sure that we are nurturing our relationship too. They give advice when we need it, and have been with us through every storm. Mama, I pray that you find a village that does the same for you, and no matter what people have told you, you are a great mom!

“I am a great mom, I am a great mom, I am a great mom!” We need to remind ourselves of this everyday! Even though we may raise our kids differently, our kids are fed. They are loved. They have a place to live and a place to sleep. They are valued. They are prayed for. They have clothes for each season of the year. They have toys to play with. They are given praise. They are given hugs and kisses. They are taught how to be kind and how to love, because THEY ARE LOVED AND CARED FOR! That alone, makes us great moms!

Don’t we tell our kids to believe in themselves? Don’t we say, “Don’t say you can’t do something, because then you’ll start to believe that yourself. Tell yourself, I can’t yet.” We tell and teach our kids to have a growth mindset, yet we tell ourselves we aren’t good moms? Isn’t that contradicting? I’m speaking to myself here, but surely I’m not the only one! At the end of the day, we all do what we think is best for our kids. Because of that…

we are not good moms, we [pause for dramatic effect] are GREAT moms!